Repercussion

Listening to the Nocturnal Animals movie soundtrack at the moment and can't wait to see it. I really liked the previous Tom Ford movie.

And while I listen to the soundtrack I can't stop thinking about my own choices - how much anger can I cause, unintentionally? Is it worth it?
It seems other people have this amazing ability I fail to understand - to ignore others' feelings. It is physically hard for me to do, to ignore somebody for the sake of my peace, to let somebody's feelings go unnoticed or at times even unanswered. It also kind of makes you feel powerful for a moment, only just to leave you with a feeling of remorse. Always remorse.
While in the movies it looks so easy, it is because they cut out the part between the decision and the choice made based on it, and the culmination. They skip those nights in between when one can't help but wonder what is right, what is fair, and whether one's actions should be based on the aim of maximising well-being of the others or of one self. Reiteration is like a carpet you hide all the mess under.

Yesterday's philosophical conversation opened up another door, into the world where ultimately you are the one that matters. But if you are affected by the well-being of others to the extent you can't ignore it, can you really live in that world?

Ultimately, can I answer the question of "what do I want?" without taking into acocunt others, and how? And then, what do I do with all the remorse?